Wise words there from Al Murray, The Pub Landlord in response to Jim asking him if he’d be watching the Eurovision Song Contest…

Anyway, that over and done with let’s get back to the point. Friend of the LowerFlat Alex rang us sometime last December mumbling something about going to see Al Murray sometime next year. We weren’t all too sure exactly when but soon enough the LowerFlat chequebooks were out and we were enrolled.

Somewhere between then and now there have been a few drinks, that funny thing called University to be done, but that didn’t stop us meeting up in Scum… sorry, Southampton. Al and Rich were already ahead of the game and in Yates’ having a couple of drinks when Jim arrived fresh from a day’s work in Poole and joined in. Before too long in the interests of staying awake, and also minimising the fluid intake (what goes in must go out) Jim and Rich progressed onto the Vodka. Heading downwards to Spoons for some munch the heavens opened from the grey clouds above - well, hell, we were in Southampton - its only to be expected.

After feeding time at the zoo we left the pub and went next door to the cash machine for Rich, the only problem was he didn’t have his wallet… or the tickets that were in them. Rich legged it off to the pub whilst a somewhat nervous Jim and Al were left in the bank debating just how many rounds it would take Mr Hutchins to make up for such a monumental balls up. Unfortunately, just as their counting got into triple figures a somewhat relieved Rich turned up and promptly had tickets confiscated from his posession.

Off we toddled up to the Guildhall, where they were kind enough to try and charge some £3.70 for a plastic bottle of beer. Blatant cheek, considering it was *only* £3.20 for a proper pint in one of the other bars. Anyhoo, true to form the Guv’nor took to the stage by the assistance of a motorised bar and proceeded to spend the next couple of hours generally taking the piss rather well and having us all in hysterics - there’s no point in quoting stuff here - just buy the bloody DVD! There were a good few local jokes though:

“You’re from Gosport? Suddenly everybody else thinks you’re a c**t”
“Brother and Sister? The Isle of Wight ferry arrived today then”

The only downside was enduring a 45 minute wait for the last train in the rain, and in Southampton… ah well, you can’t have everything…

The Danish entry’s quite good though…